He Sees Knicks as Feel-Bad Story of Year

Dan Le Batard of the Miami Herald on why he finds the New York Knicks distasteful:

“Look at New York’s roster to find all the charming things you love about sports. Latrell Sprewell choked his coach. Larry Johnson is a walking paternity suit.

“Charlie Ward, Reggie White-like, tucks his hatred inside the pages of his bible. Marcus Camby took so much free stuff in college that he ruined probation-riddled UMass all by himself.

“Chris Childs is a recovering alcoholic. Kurt Thomas, with Dennis Rodman gone, might be the league’s dirtiest player. Patrick Ewing’s wife filed for divorce after learning of his infidelity with a team cheerleader.”

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Trivia time: In 1948, USC won its first Division I NCAA baseball championship, defeating Yale in the title game, 9-2. Who was Yale’s first baseman?

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Whistle happy: Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News, commenting on the 40 fouls called against the Knicks on Tuesday night in their playoff game against Indiana:

“In front of what felt like a pro wrestling crowd in Indianapolis, [the] refs acted like they were part of the show, as if they were wrestling refs.”

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The observer: Diane Bourley-Medecin, the interpreter at the players’ news conferences at the French Open, on what she thinks of some of the competitors:

Venus and Serena Williams: “I understand them a lot better since they got their braces out.”

Martina Hingis: “She smiles all the time, even when she answers questions. That gets annoying in the end.”

Marcelo Rios: “Insufferably scornful.”

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Math major? Peter Vecsey of the New York Post, writing on the rumor that Phil Jackson might become the Lakers’ next coach:

“In anticipation that Jackson might make the L.A. scene next season, Kobe [Bryant], reveals a source, touched base with Bull assistant Tex Winters this season and asked him to explain the nuances of the triangle [offense].”

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Wimps: Former major league manager Bill Rigney, now an advisor to the Oakland Athletics, has seen hundreds of brawls in his 50 years in baseball.

“Baseball players are the worst fighters I’ve seen in my entire life,” he said. “The guy charging the mound is thinking, ‘What the hell do I do now that I’m here?’ ”

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Year of the homers: Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post: “Whew. Good thing the powers that be did away with the tradition of playing doubleheaders on Memorial Day.

“It would have taken until the All-Star break to count all the home runs.”

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Trivia answer: George Bush. Yes, that George Bush.

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And finally: Carolina Panther linebacker Kevin Greene has second thoughts on his sideline attack of former Panther linebacker coach Kevin Steele last Dec. 4. He initially apologized. Now he says:

“I think everybody and their brother out there who had ever played competitive sports at one time or another probably wanted to jerk a knot in some coach’s tail.”